Lucubration Station

Your like an arrogant unicorn. your disposition destroys any alure and majesty that you should have. In this dream like haze, everything is fine and dandy. life is good. everything is as it should be. grand plans and high flying schemes. There seems to be no basis in reality. No consideration on how all the parts of your life affect each other. No true understanding of what is to come. You think your weekly games will be uninterupted? You think you'll be able to pack up and move interstate? Where will the money for these projects come from? How will you on your income alone invest in those kind of ideas? The psych said you were too emotionally immature for the combat life. Twice. What makes you think an equally high risk career with an equal amount of application scrutiny will have a differant outcome? It doesnt make sense.
I dont know if your playing games with me.
Putting on a facade for my benefit.
I hope so.
If what your portraying right now is real, I'm horrifyed. I'm actually terrified for you.
Your descent down the slippery slope is gaining speed, feet worn down to stumps.
I loved you so much, I still love you so much, that I dont want to watch.
I dont want to hear about it, that way I can pretend its not happening.
I want to think your just living in sin with the delerious one but in a mundane and happy way.


I long to be mundane and happy again.




Instead I'll live in a frenzy and be as fabulous as possible.