Lucubration Station

This weekend was like a mini-series. It had a little of everything, extreme highs, extreme lows and some lulls in the action for character development.

It started out with a party at Robot Haus with a bunch of people from the internet. That sounds like a good start right? RIGHT! Well it was. I'd say about half of which I'd met before and some I hadn't seen in a long time.
There was supposed to be people coming from interstate but I didn't think any showed up, there was still new locals and that was exciting. Whalley showed up in the reddest red jeans ever made, EVER. They are super special.

I drank too much and talked too much but I don't think I fell over or did anything terribly messy. I met a bunch of boys who were quite interesting and entertaining. Meeting new people you actually like is SO EXCITING. There was a lot of adoration heaped on a particular special mop and much talk of things from space. Space Things! SPINGS
Dimitri did his special sub zero dance and I enjoyed it as much as I ever have. Tom monopolized the toilet for an hour or two throwing up towards the end of the night.

I only just remembered when I finally climbed into bed, I was a living ice block and I was so cold it woke Geordie up from his deep sleep. I must have been radiating an icy glow. I get so cold at night time which might make you believe I'm cold blooded but I shy from the sun It burns and we shall never be friends.

Saturday morning I was awakened by Tom wanting to jump into bed and playing techno remixes of Mac vs PC ads. It would of been the best way to wake up ever except that I felt like utter trash and I knew I had to leave and get ready for Laneway, I was meeting people beforehand at 11.

Fucking panic. I made it as far as the front of the house and then curled up in Poodleheads bed instead. I felt sick but it was more than that. I kinda knew what was happening to me but I didn't realize the full force of what was about to hit me.

**Now I'm about to give you some not so fun information about myself. In fact a lot of people will find it super icky so don't read the next paragraph if squeamish. **
When I was in highschool I started to have enormous problems when I had my periods. The cramps associated got so intense that I would pass out, throw up, get double vision all that kind of shit. It would keep me bedridden often. I remember multiple occasions, where I lay in bed with a hot pack and a cold pack to swap between as my temperature fluctuated and to try whatever eased the pain the best, just writhing/and sobbing and just yelling to no one in particular to make it stop. It was horrible, it would incapacitate me and it happened every month! JOY so over the years, different pain meds and pills were tried till a good balance was found and it settled down, to a bearable and managable level. I went on the implant for a few years which was great cos I didn't have periods at all!
Anyway the reason I brought this up, is that my period started on that day, and because I was so dehydrated, it was like I was 16 again.

The drive home normally takes me like 45 mins that day it took 1.5 hours. I kept being hit with waves of pain and nausea, Id have to pull over and get out and throw up, or just sit there and ride through it till I could concentrate and drive again. I finally got home and threw myself in the shower, I should have already been at Laneway by now. I kinda passed out in the shower a few times, and threw up a lot more. I was hoping to get it out of my system, shake it off, have a bit of a nap and be fine. No such luck, I could barely stand, I dragged myself to bed but I couldn't get painkillers into me, I kept throwing them back up again before they could do any good. I kept having like hot flushes and ended up in the laundry floor on the cool cool tiles, I slept there. Then I would wake up and the cramps rocked my body like I was being stabbed and my stomach would just automatically start contracting. Then once the pain eased I would pass back out. There was a while where I couldn't even sms people to tell them what was going on. I just stared at the phone in front of me, not even finding the energy to push buttons.

I knew I was missing all the concerts and fun times, so when chii said she would give my ticket to someone else, I knew that I should just stay home but I couldnt! I HAD TO GO. I gave myself an hour and forced myself to get it together. I got tablets down, I showered again, I put clothes on. Then I just lay very still for 40 minutes. I made it there 4 hours late and though I looked and felt like shit, I tried to make it look on purpose and apparently I actually looked really pretty. It seems being near death really suits me!

I stood through the first concert which was great but then I couldn't hack it anymore. One girl pissed me off, while we watched Okkervil River we were right up the front but over to one side. This girl in a stripy top yelled over 3/4 of the set. She was talking to another girl and because the music was loud they couldn't hear each other so had to yell. I mean, god how annoying! How dare the music interrupt your conversation when your standing at the front of a fucking stage. She also kept bumping into me and never apologized. When it got to the end of the set she started recognizing songs, so she sang them or I should say screeched like a banshee in a high pitched wail that drowned out the band itself. I Covered my ears, turned and glared into her face and she continued to LALALA and bounce around on her boyfriends crotch. If Id stayed there much longer I would have smacked her face into my knee.
It's okay though, Smellen farted on her.

I found a spot on the ground and pretty much stayed there for the next four hours, I could see a little bit and heard everything clearly. I played spot the Threadless Tee and saw 11 in like 15 minutes. The ratio of shirt per seconds is pretty high. Maybe the fact that I recognized where all of them had come from is more disturbing than the ratio itself.

I queued up for the toilets which were all port-a-loos. Now we all know them, molded plastic, you pump the button on the ground to flush and operate the sink. Space is really limited, no lights just whatever shines through the less opaque roof. and around the door frame. Sometimes the smell and heat inside will lead festival goers to faint. The ground is always muddy and dirty with toilet paper and god knows what. The soap has run out and theres no paper towels or toilet paper. Toilet trips at festivals are always traumatic, you just hope your drunk enough to never remember.

While queued up at this particular line a couple got into one of the loos together. Okay, I figured they are just both going to use the same one, thats not a big deal. Until you could see the plastic walls bulging and the toilet started rocking. Sex in a toilet is pretty nasty but sex in a PORT-A-LOO... jesus... thats new levels of low. People in the queue started exchanging glances. It was very awkward, and I was even more glad to get my peeing over and done with than I expected.

By the time Broken Social Scene ended everyone was tired, drunk and hungry so we just bailed and went to Alibi. The crowd were really good, i think maybe having so many concerts and festivals on the same day meant the people at each were the people who really wanted to be there.

I was dosed up enough on painkillers by now that I was feeling a lot better so I started drinking again. When everyone left me and went to the bar I put my head down on the table as another wave of cramps came. I was pretty embarrassed when one of the staff asked my friends if I was "okay" and whether I should leave. He must have thought I was rotten drunk and they had to explain I wasn't drunk I just wasn't well and it was okay they would look after me. I'm blushing now just thinking back.

After refuelling on both solids and liquids it was time find the action again. Id now had 3 or 4 drinks and they hit me quickly. As we went to leave I ran into Brittany and was as usualy blown away by how devestatingly gorgeous she is. We blocked the walkway and caught up for about 15 mins before I realised everyone had left without me. Im going to miss that girl, she leaves for greener pastures in less than a month and if I were a richer girl Id be doing exactly the same thing.

Smellen had to leave us so the others had headed off to Pub number 1 and hit the pokies. The walk from Alibi to the pub was a bit tricky and I tripped a little a couple of times. While I waited for the lights to change I watched some guys trying to pimp out a blow up doll. Everytime someone walked past they kinda thrust it at them going "20 bucks an hour mate. She's clean as a whistle!" HA, I laughed quite loudly at them and stumbled inside. Chii had allready lost most of her coins and we got carded while just sitting there. I texted one of the boys from the night before who was going to head to the internet meetup part 2 and he had arrived and hadnt found anyone yet. I convinced my mini-crew to come with me and we began the stumble to pub number 2. Ive only been in this place once or twice and it seemed pretty bogan but good enough for drinking with a group in a dark corner OH BOY was I wrong. There was a covers band playing and the place was packed and I have no idea why. They were terrible to my ears and I mean, who really needs to hear Blink182 covered by an Australian dude in tight black jeans? srlsy

We ended up back in the pokies room since I could spot a big group of nerds anywhere. Rach lost well over $20 here in a matter of minutes before she spotted the free coffee machine. She made me chicken soup, which was basically press a button and a bunch of powder falls in your cup and you pour boiling water on it. As she sloshed the cup around in my face and I had visions of third degree burns I ran away to look for the nerds again. Success!
We joined their circle and I was annoyed to find that only 3 guys from the night before had shown up even the dude who was organising the whole weekend had bailed. I had another two drinks here and was pretty pretty smashed and happy. There was only so long we could all handle of the horrible band so decided to split up and meet back up later. Zac and Geordie were at Birdies and I was kinda hoping Matty would be with them so I could say goodbyes since I would have completely missed his goodbye drinks. Zac's new lady was there with them so rach and I were really keen to meet up with that group. Apart from almost getting lost when rachel bet me all the money she had that we were on the right street when we wernt we eventually go to the door and then looked down the street in dismay. Laneway had ended and so had the future festival so punters from both events had just decended on the valley. The overwhelming fluro colours in the line confirmed it and scared the hell out of me. We followed the queue down the street and around the corner down into the China Mall. We guaged it would take about an hour to get to the front. It was rediculous there was just too many people. The queue for monastry across the road was also quite oversized but nowhere near the crazy length for birdies. We both sadi FUCK THAT and went to meet back up with the nerds. We walked straight into Pub number 3, had drinks in your hands within seconds and continued on to the awesome little drinking area they had found. From there on things are much more blurry. I remember talking about beards and facial hair in general, laneway, Smellens farting prowess, Chii's violent antics and I dont even know what else. I believe there was ranting. I think I recall Chii falling into the stairway wall, but that could have been me. Overall the chats were great, the company also and when we went to leave I immediately regretted it. We got home and I drank as much water as I could and passed out. I think that was after 3am.

I awoke sunday expecting major hangovers and knowing I had to get back home and prepare for the bbq today. This was to be the final internet people event for the weekend and I had volunteered to help out as much as I could. I figured all the people who had bailed on saturday night would probably show up on the sunday to make up for it so I went and bought a whole bunch of sausages, bread and various other supplies. Raided my parents place for bbq tools and drove home and back to the valley once again. When I got to the designated spot I found Tom, on his lonesome, his hair a shiny blue beacon of lonliness. He had been there for an hour already and no one else had turned up. As we waited for more people we realised it was going to be just the two of us and cooked up our own lunches and had a nice relaxing afternoon. The salvos band came down and set up right on the waterline in front of us so we had this awesome atmospheric band music and great weather and a great spot. Dimitri and NamTaf turned up later and we hung around while they cooked up some food too. It was really nice and relaxing after the last two days and with a warm alcohol glow in my skin again I headed to the Alibi for the Uno Championships they had been advertising.

Everyone I knew going had all seperately scoured the Alibi website for their "House Rules"which were supposed to be there but were invisible. Half an hour after the event was supposed to begin we still hadnt seen any players or announcements about it or anything so gave up and left. So we hired some movies and watched Mighty Boosh and The Brothers Solomon (dont watch this film, its crap) until Devo arrived and we got dinner and watched more Mighty Boosh. Good peeps, good food and good tv. What a great way to end a weekend.